The funeral pyre was lit, not to mourn the lives of those presidents who devoted their lives to serving this country, but to mourn the future. The sun refused to break through that unremitting wall of grey that lurked behind the clouds, something menacing and reverent, as if a storm sat beyond the wall of mortal vision. Life sat in wonder, as the pyres became the only light. Nothing good would come of it. The darkness eased back with a brief glimmer of light, if only to shine from within ourselves, as we must forsake that wall of grey in the sky. It seems immortal, but what can one truly say about immortality? For all we’ve known of the modern era, there is no such thing. Everything passes. Everything has its time, before it goes the way of the dinosaurs.
They brought out two sacrificial virgins, which had been laced with angel dust to make them more submissive. Their minds had been molded from days of sensation, being blessed with everything their hearts might desire. They were given food and drink, sexual depravity, riches for their families that they would never see in this lifetime, all for the show… all for the inauguration.
Grand Wizard Kali Ma brought up the male sacrifice first. They stood him facing the crowd, so they could admire the swift precision of Kali Ma’s knife, as he slit his throat. It was a clean cut, I have to give him that, but my appreciation for this ominous ‘death cult’ that seems to run our country has dwindled beneath a cynical amusement. It all becomes quite boring after a while… I mean… how many times can we really watch a beautiful virgin die before it all becomes… monotonous?
The female sacrifice broke almost immediately after watching her male counterpart. She drifted steadily into the sea of bodies, but was brought back by a few men wearing SS fatigues. They threw her to the ground, denying the obvious urge to rape and plunder, knowing that the ritual of this day was more important than their petty desires. Grand Wizard Kali Ma fell upon her and drove his dagger into her heart. He ripped it out and presented it to her. She took it in her hands for a few seconds, which seemed so impossible, as if her body reached an untouchable state that waited between life and death. It lasted only a few seconds, before the heart fell out of her hands. Grand Wizard Kali Ma was lucky to have caught it before it hit the ground. If it had, the ritual would be ruined and the fate of our nation in peril.
Blood had to be spilled along the red carpet, for which our new overlord would walk. They sprinkled it, as if throwing rice at a wedding. It covered the faces of those in the front row, who looked with vengeful, atavistic senses, lurking, menacing desires to rape and murder. The day… no… the years of struggle to get their master elected, along with all their prayers to their dark and venerable gods had finally paid off. Now was the time to come out of the darkness, because the darkness had shown itself in full. So it goes, as the moon enters a cycle of darkness, which might seem eternal. So it goes, that everything has a need to be returned.
Although we all know the eagle represents the freedom and grace of our nation, it couldn’t be so with this inaugural day. They chose instead a chicken that had been locked up for weeks in a Tyson processing center. Its beak had been cut off, legs broken, body emaciated from disrepair. It was thrown out onto the stage, where it cried out in obvious pain. We don’t speak the language of the chicken, but pain is the one universal tongue that we can all decipher. If only I was a good enough writer to describe the horror and pain in its eyes. It played the most beautiful symphony of cataclysm and death, something that the great gods of old, from Babylon, Sumeria… even deeper, back to days when man prayed to sticks fashioned to represent his ignorance and greed, his hunger to stay alive.
Then… came the blissful moment of revelation, as our new overlord took the stage. He mocked the chicken, as he saw it trembling before him and then stepped on its head. It was his first act as our messiah and it was one of vengeful mercy. He approached the podium and said some things, all of which I could not hear. I heard something far greater, which I thought was coming from the crowd, but was instead coming from the earth. A rift tore itself open and unleashed an unfathomable army of dark monstrosities that claimed to only want to change our healthcare. They promised to give it back, as they ripped out the tongues of all of those who questioned their intentions. They marched into our world and slaughtered everyone in their path. It was truly a terrible day for democracy.
Lost in the shuffle was our new overlord, who had scurried away so fast nobody had a good idea as to where he went. Nobody cared, for as the rift opened, it could not be undone. The army that entered our world could not be denied. This inauguration day had opened something, a can of worms, if you will, that could not be put back. Everything changed. From this day, everything as we know it will be forever changed. It seems terrible right now. The future might hold something different, but it always ends the same. A rift opens. An army of aliens kills us all. Rinse… repeat.